


Even if you just sleep beside me

by InterPlanetaryGirl



Series: Don't say a word, I understand. [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cute, Everybody else is mentioned slightly, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hinata has a panic attack, Hinata stresses, Kageyama Tobio is a Good Boyfriend, Kageyama is a babe, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload, slight angst, they watch a movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:44:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6187879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterPlanetaryGirl/pseuds/InterPlanetaryGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As soon as he looks at the first question, his vision begins to swim, but he forces himself to focus - he studied this last night and it's okay. He's going to be okay. </p><p>***</p><p>Hinata has too many tests and can't handle it, so he panics and he doesn't mean to but then Kags is a good boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even if you just sleep beside me

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired because last week I had mock exams, every day pretty much, multiple, and so I was stressed and panicked and had several panic attacks, and with my drama exams coming up and my music exam also I thought I should express my panic elsewhere, and I already wrote a fic with Hinata like this so I figured I could??? Idk??? Do more??? Just read, and I hope you enjoy, trigger warning for panic attacks and sensory overload though, so please don't read if you could be affected
> 
> EDIT: I changed my tumblr URL at the end and put it into a series with 2 other pieces and a small sequel to this

Hinata woke up slightly late, as in his own version of late. The late where he barely has time to brush his teeth and get dressed before he can walk out of the door and to bike his way to school. This biking isn't like his usual biking - it's slower, calmer in the sense he isn't wobbling on it at all, and ultimately it's just sad. He rides upto where he's meeting Kageyama and then gets off with an obvious slump in his shoudlers. Of course he notices, but he doesn't say anything, instead just walking beside him with their knuckles brushing before they get into the gym for morning practice.

Everything is normal, except Hinata isn't as bouncy as usual, and everybody knows it. They also know, however, to not act as if anything is wrong because that only makes him worse because he tries harder, fakes bigger, makes it seem as though he's normal when he really really isn't. So everything is normal as far as anybody is concerned.

Hinata gets to class a couple of minutes early - he always likes to be on time when there is a big test, so he is settled in his seat one minute and twenty-three seconds before the teacher arrives, he knows, he counted.

The teacher hands out the tests, Hinata listening to every rustle of the paper, every movement to get pens out if not already. It takes seven steps for the teacher to reach him and put the booklet of paper in front of him. Hinata gulped, feeling how any excess saliva went down his throat.

Between his fingers he twiddles and flips the pen, almost dropping it in the silent classroom, but he didn't and yet the way it clipped the desk made him flinch. It didn't go unnoticed by the setter.

When the teacher tells them to begin, he is careful to not make any noise with his paper, despite the inevitability.

As soon as he looks at the first question, his vision begins to swim, but he forces himself to focus - he studied this last night and it's okay. He's going to be okay. He's given the volume of the cone, and has to find out the total volume of the cone and a semi-sphere attached to it. He's given the height of the cone, and the volume of the cone is 750cm3. _To find the area of a cone you do 1/3πr-squared-h, and then work backwards to find the radius, which would allow him to work out the semi-sphere's volume. The height is 10,_ thinks Hinata, _which means I divide 750 by 10, to get 75._ He writes down all of his thoughts as he works it out on paper. He ends up with the radius being five, and is able to work out the semi-sphere's volume to be 266.799cm3 and adds the 750 to get 1011.89cm3.

For a moment he feel congratulatory of himself, before he realises the two other questions, similar to the first, that follow on the first page, and the other people in class who are making him flinch with the sound of the paper being turned over. He looks ahead to the side slightly, and sees Kageyama writing near the bottom of the page quickly, before he too turns over.

So Hinata's heart started to beat faster as he rushes the next questions, those being some of the only few on the paper he likes - as in, them not being extremely difficult as he had studied them late last night, but everything else in the paper made him panic more at failing this test, which would lead to the failure of more tests, and missed practices for volleyball, and how he would never get to pass any of his exams and get into university (even if he was scouted) - and a lot of things that are mainly unnecessary, and making him panic more, but he can't deal with it, and as he reaches the end of the paper, there being something about straight line graphs following the equation y=mx+c - he really doesn't know.

But he's crying, and he doesn't want to be despite the tear drops falling on his paper, so he quickly wipes his eyes and he counts down the (thirty-eight) seconds before the teacher tells them that time is up and it isn't fair because he studied so hard for this test but knew next to nothing. It takes twelve steps this time for the teacher to reach him to collect his paper, and then the next class is about to begin.

In that class they were given a test also - Hinata was completely unaware of this and his panic spiked again, unable to control it as his breathing sped up to the point he was gripping his chest with one hand tightly, while rubbing the other in supposedly soothing circles on his forehead. Nobody in the class however complained, nor showed any signs of unawareness of the test, when he realised that he had been in the nurse's office during their last class at the very beginning, because he had fallen while changing and jumping out of the way from Noya, and hit his head which caused a nose bleed. Of course he would be away for the only time they were told about the test, and Kageyama never told him either. This only made Hinata's mood sour more as well as his hands to start shaking.

It was English Vocabulary, focusing mainly on verbs and their tenses however, changing 'to be' into it's present, past and future, along with 'to keep', 'to arise', 'to wind' and 'to trust'.

Hinata couldn't handle it and started crying again halfway through the past tense of 'to arise' and he didn't know what to do other than keep guessing, going on instinct and recognising anything familiar between them. His handwriting got worse as well, as he went through the test, the more his hand shook, and it was just managing to get through the last, shaky-looking, English letter in the list of vocabulary they had to translate, just vocabulary, as long as the tense is right, and the teacher called them to a stop.

He wrote out the letter as quick as he could as the teacher came around to collect their papers quickly; quicker than they were handed out, and Hinata wipes at his eyes quickly as his paper is taken from beneath him.

In Japanese History, they're completing an essay on The Ōnin War with brief descriptions of battles and why they were won, at the least, and extreme detail about certain wars, if not all, with pros and cons to each side, why each victory was so important and such. They could ask for text books to check dates if they so wanted, but Hinata was too scared to do so, afraid for how his voice may crack for the whole class to hear.

Hinata takes his best shot at what he has left, trying to remember any significant dates or figures that could possibly help him, but he has nothing. And now people are talking, and Hinata has to cover his ears as subtle as possible to try and block it out.

He squeezes his eyes shut next, trying to block out the light from the sun coming through the window and shining directly in his eye and more tears are dripping onto his paper but he really doesn't care because nobody is paying attention to him anyway, and the teacher is telling them to be quiet in a voice that is too loud, through his own, muffled hearing too.

 _It isn't fair,_ he thinks as he opens his eyes once more and tries to write more despite his shaking hand, he takes a few deep breaths before placing the pen on the desk and holding his hands before himself to assess their shaking - it seems to have gone down, if only slightly, so he takes two more deep breaths and he starts writing again, some things coming clearer to him now, but not everything.

The next class is a normal class, doing normal work and taking down notes to study later, plus a worksheet for them to answer questions on, but he can't stop shaking, still, and ends up missing half of what the teacher says because his hands shake more at the thought of his afternoon classes and the tests he's taking then and soon he has his hands clasped over his ears as tears stream down his face through closed eyes.

His notes are half-complete and barely readable by himself, so the sheet with questions, even though they can use their notes, doesn't get finished.

Lunch comes next and Hinata has never been so happy to get out of the classroom, as fast as he can, not caring who sees him and how they see him.

Almost on instinct he goes to the club room, and he takes his time to go to the showers and sit in the farthest corner, where he is unlikely to be seen, even should somebody come in - searching for him or not.

He sits there a while, clutching his head, fingers roughly pulling on his hair as he tries to control his breathing so that he can return back to class with enough composure, hiding his eyes with his fringe, it drooping in front of his eyes now he's tugged so relentlessly on it.

Once he hears the final bell before the end of class, it occurs to him how he hasn't eaten his lunch, nor has he eaten the rest of the day and would have no time to now, and he would most likely feel nauseous should he eat before practice - more so than if he were to just not eat, despite his rumbling stomach.

Throughout his afternoon classes he has another test to sit - this was something he had been prepared for, but since lunch seemed to have forgotten everything in his panic. This, naturally, made him more panicked and stressed as he sat the test, writing answers that he knew were wrong but felt it was better than writing nothing. However his breathing laboured again, until the end of the period when it was collected in and there was no time to worry before his next teacher arrived and he was forced to take notes in silence, as the teacher spoke in his, rather old, monotonous, boring, voice. Hinata was convinced today would be the end of him.

It ended though, soon enough, and he was able to run out of the room and to practice, and be halfway through warm-ups before the rest of the team even entered the room.

In actuality, he was finishing with his stretches before even the first person walked in next, that person being Kageyama. Kageyama did his warm-up in silence as everybody else began to walk in, and they worked in silence, the two of them.

Although, it was in fact nowhere near silence. Hinata flinched, even yelped, sometimes when there was too much of a noise, too close to him, too invading of his senses. Every time he touched the ball, all he could do was feel disgust for how it felt, how he could feel something (germs, he thought, probably) crawling all over his hands and it didn't feel right, didn't feel natural, didn't feel...like normal.

And he couldn't stand it. The more he felt disgust at his surroundings, at his senses, the more disgust he felt at himself - this was the sport he loved so much, with all of his heart, and the team he loved, that had adopted him as one of their own. And all he could feel was guilty for the possibility of feeling ungrateful towards them, though he knew he didn't, but he didn't want them to think he thought that, even for a second.

After his seventh missed spike in a row, all he could hear was the coach order Kageyama to escort him home, as he clearly wasn't in the right state of mind to play, even practice, so he accepted it and moved sluggishly as he fetched his things, much slower than usual, and it he could feel Kageyama's eyes on him as he moved, and he knew he would not get away from him. Should he even want to, that is.

There was nothing said, but Kageyama pulled Hinata's sleeve when he was to walk off and Hinata knew to follow. It was the weekend now, anyway, so it wouldn't matter, as long as he sent his mother a text at some point to say how he would be staying over, or late home at the very least.

Kageyama led him up to his room, no need for pleasantries with his parents due to them either working late or being away, before leaving him with a change of clothes as he went to go make them a drink, and see if there was any food. Hinata's stomach had numbed long ago, while in his after-lunch period, and he hadn't paid it much mind, even now as it was beginning to hurt once more.

It wasn't long before Kageyama came back, but he was already under the bed covers and sitting up as he waited, silent still, waiting anxiously for Kageyama's return, for no particular reason other than to be sure he was still here and still caring.

Once he did return, he placed the food for them both on Hinata's lap and the drinks on the bedside before getting his laptop and climbing in beside Hinata and setting it up for a movie they both knew both would not pay attention to as they ate.

It was easy enough for Hinata to get comfortable once having some food in him, sated and relaxed, though still not speaking. He was leaning against Kageyama, who had his arm over one shoulder but resting his hand in Hinata's hair to play with the strands there a little.

After that Hinata fell asleep, as the movie was reaching it's most intense scene, something Hinata will be upset he missed later, but right now that wasn't the point, so Kageyama watched for ten minutes longer before he first yawned, and then laid Hinata down to sleep, before leaving the bed to turn the lights off, put his laptop on charge and then climbed back in to tuck Hinata under his arm as they slept, Hinata burrowing into him automatically.

That made Kageyama feel warm, and he smiled as he slept, hoping that he could help calm Hinata by morning somehow, even if it's just by sleeping next to him. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, please tell me where I can improve/anything wrong with it/anything you liked and I will try to improve it, but thank you for reading, come scream at me about anything on tumblr [sweetassaliens](http://http://sweetassaliens.tumblr.com//)


End file.
